Sunday, December 29, 2019

We need to drop this word from everyday vocabulary

We need to drop this word from everyday vocabularyWe need to drop this word from everyday vocabularyWhen I first started writing, I had a set routine. Id start first thing in the morning. Id make myself a cup of coffee, clean my desk, put my noise-cancelling headphones on, read a chapter from a great book to put myself in the right mindset, close the door to create a zero-noise environment (as if the headphones werent enough), and begin slowly moving my fingers across the keyboard.I treated writing like a space shuttle launch. If one of these variables was off, Id abortus the mission. I told myself I simplycantwrite if the perfect conditions didnt present themselves.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreCant, I later realized,can be a dangerous word. To be sure, there are legitimate circumstances for usingcant. But for much of the time, and for much of the worlds population,cantoften meansI dont want to.I cant exercise todaymeansI dont feel like exercising today.I cant read this bookmeansId rather watch Netflix. I cant rest because I have too much workmeansRest isnt a priority for me right now.This isnt meaningless semantics. The language we use to describe our beliefs matters. Its a huge mental shift to go fromI cant writetoI dont want to write.Cantstops the conversation. If you cant do something, why bother trying?Butdont wantshifts the perspective. It forces you to be honest with yourself and prompts a deeper psychoanalysis. This shift in vocabulary made me realize that my seeming inability to write didnt result from the absence of the perfect cup of coffee. Rather, it was the product of deeper issues with perfectionism.My epiphany came when I read Paul KalanithisWhen Breath Becomes Air. Kalanithi was a 36-year-old neurosurgeon diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer when he was about to finish his grueling decade-long residency. Its a heartbreaking, yet surprisi ngly inspiring, story of how a doctor treating the dying became a patient facing his own mortality. I was struck by this passage penned by Kalanithis wife that described his writing process for the bookDuring the last year of his life, Paul wrote relentlessly, fueled by purpose, motivated by a ticking clock. He started with midnight bursts when he was still a neurosurgery chief resident, softly tapping away on his laptop as he lay next to me in bed later he spent afternoons in his recliner, drafted paragraphs in the oncologists waiting room, took phone calls from his editor while chemotherapy dripped into his veins, carried his silver laptop everywhere he went. When his fingertips developed painful fissures because of his chemotherapy, we found seamless, silver-lined gloves that allowed use of a trackpad and keyboard.If Kalanithi didnt use the wordcantwhen it came to his writing, I had absolutely no business using it for mine.Now, I write from cramped airplane seats. I write on the Google Docs app on my phone, and I write with a pencil and a notepad. I write when its noisy, and I write when its quiet. For me, with enough conditioning,I cant write if . . .becameI can write even ifThe next time youre tempted to say youcantdo something, replace it withI dont want toorIts not a priority for me. With this shift in language, if its something truly worth doing, youll make the time for it.Ozan Varol is a rocket scientist turned law professor and bestselling author.Click hereto download a free copy of his e-book, The Contrarian Handbook 8 Principles for Innovating Your Thinking. Along with your free e-book, youll get the Weekly Contrarian - a newsletter that challenges conventional wisdom and changes the way we look at the world (plus access to exclusive content for subscribers only).This article originally appeared on Ozan Varol.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

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